AMERICA’S ROAD TO NOWHERE IN THAT CRATER MIDDLE EAST

(What I'm working on: Whither the Arab Resistance/Opposition?) 6/15/06.


SECOND DRAFT

SAUDI ARABIA NEGOTIATES WITH ISRAEL...THROUGH MUBARAK;
THE UNITED STATES TRIES AT AN ARAB-ISRAELI ANTI-IRAN FRONT.

Now: Why would Saudi King Abdallah visit with Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak? The Egyptian government, after all, is eminently insignificant. It carries no weight whatsoever–not strategically, not economically, not culturally. It’s an imperial construct imposed on tens of millions of Egyptians to be servile to Empire’s favorite protectorate.

So why would King Abdallah, old but seemingly healthy, go through the inconvenience?

To cut to the chase: The Egyptian government’s only source of influence is its cozy (servile, really) relationship with Israel. It serves it and the United States, no questions asked. Mubarak wants to assure the succession of his son to the presidency; the U.S. knows that. The U.S. carries the card of reforms; Mubarak knows that. If Mubarak fails to serve Israel and the U.S., the latter would bring up the issue of democratic reforms (or, more precisely, lack thereof) in Egypt. Jamal the son as a consequence would lose his chance at becoming President. And it’s unclear whether an Egyptian Supreme Court can make him one. Case closed.

(The way the U.S. “brings up” the issue of reform is by making payments to opposition groups, and restricting payments to the state.)

So why would King Abdallah, who represents a state which yearly income is about $175 billion, visit a President who represents a state that is nearly starving, but for America’s yearly donation of two billion dollars for services to Israel? Humorously, even at that, the Egyptian vassal state is a failure--a good thing for the Palestinian national movement.

The answer: King Abdallah is using President Mubarak to negotiate with Israel–to renew his 2002 peace proposal, when Crown Prince. This had been a courageous peace offensive, truly. And a smart one, since nothing short of the return of all 1967 lands and reparations would pacify the Palestinian national movement. In other words, the Saudis cannot (and should not) negotiate for the Palestinians. They can only mediate; and here, the King had done his job by giving an Arab context to the negotiations. That’s all he could and can do.

The Israelis of course had ignored that initiative, at the height of their benefactor’s arrogance, prior to that benefactor’s abject failure in Iraq and Afghanistan. Besides, tension and wars have been good to the Israelis. How else have a strategic alliance with the U.S., feed onto Empire’s huge military-industrial complex, even become part of it? It’s America’s first-rate cargo to its favored protectorate.

There were other reasons for King Abdallah’s visit, but I don’t think they were central. For one, he rightfully should be concerned about Egypt and Jordan passing on weapons (with Israel’s blessing, of course) to Mr. Abbas’s Presidential Guard, in preparation for a Palestinian civil war. This civil war should carry true dangers to those fueling it--Jordanians, Egyptians, and Israelis. The King’s advisors should know, shouldn’t they, that a Palestinian civil war likely would hurt those wishing for it. More importantly to the Saudis, this civil war should heighten the pitch of anti-American sentiment among the Saudi and wider Arab and Islamic public. Unavoidably, that civil war and the blood it'd spill will be blamed on the Americans first, the Israelis second. Not to mention that the civil war should throw all public–Arab and Islamic–into the arms of the Islamic Republic.

His visit, in short, mainly was to negotiate with Israel, through one of that country’s Arab agents, so to speak, Mr. Mubarak, and to please the Americans. The visit fits into a inane American policy to unite Arabs and Israelis (without a Palestinian state and reparations to the refugees and to Lebanon) against the Iranians. Like it stands a chance! Here again, as in Lebanon, things might roll out of control for the United States in the region; and it doesn’t have the troops to remedy the situation.

Here’s a reality-based fictional (and humorous?) account of the conversation that took place between the Saudi King and the Egyptian President.

SHARM AL-SHAYKH: THE REALITY-BASED FICTIONAL ACCOUNT

King Abdallah: Mr. President, you look like two-billion dollars in this shining aluminum-like suit!

President Mubarak: You’re too kind, king Abdallah. I couldn’t have afforded it without your generosity.

King Abdallah: All comes from God’s generosity. He made us family, Mr. President. (He pauses.) How is your family, Mr. President?

President Mubarak: The wife is running the country, may God bless her, and my son Jamal is making oodles of money with his friends, monopolizing all there is that makes money in Egypt. He did manage to take off to Washington on a secret mission and did convince the Americans to let him rule the country so that his fortune would eventually top 100 million dollars–a moral obligation, really.

King Abdallah: One hundred billion is quite a fortune, I admit.

An aide to the King approaches him and whispers into his ear.

President Mubarak: No, no: $100 million, not billion!

King Abdallah looks at his entourage and they all smile politely at President Mubarak.

President Mubarak: How’s your family? May God protect them.

King Abdallah: Thank you, Mr. President. Frankly, there’s so many of them I’ve lost track. I don’t keep up anymore. It’s embarrassing. They bring me a grand son or a great grand daughter and I have no clue who their parents are. I give them a couple of hundred million each, to get them started in life. I’m thankful for God’s generosity.

President Mubarak: God be great. So those Americans–they want to see us together.

King Abdallah: Yes they do. They’ve tired me out. Nothing satisfies them but total imperial control. Oops.

President Mubarak: No worry, King Abdallah. You’re among family. Nothing is being taped here. I’m having my problems with them, too, especially that incompetent bitch. At least you don’t rely on them financially and for wheat.

King Abdallah: Still. You know they have so much dirt on our spoiled princes they can make life hell for us. And we have no men left in our government. Did you read that article by Tony Khater and Zein al-Irban about the absence of Saudi manhood ? At any rate, the Americans want to turn us all into servants of their strategic ally Israel. So, feel free to tell Olmert that the 2002 peace initiative is still in effect.

President Mubarak: I will.

King Abdallah: Do you think he’ll bite?

President Mubarak: No he won’t. He’ll act as if he is. He already had been to Washington, where that good-for-nothing Khater lives. Olmert got Bush’s approval to go ahead with a unilateral withdrawal. But I’ll go through the motions, anyway, if only to secure the presideny to my son.

King Abdallah: But my nephew the ambassador tells me that Olmert will have to try first with the Palestinians.

President Mubarak: He will do that, but he will make sure nothing works out with them. Our cousins the Israelis are very good at that. They want to steal yet more Palestinian land and that’s gonna fail President Abbas. I’ll let you hear our palace advisor’s prognosis.

Dr. Mahmoud Muhammad al-Ahmad al-Tizi: Your honors. When American cargo arrives in Balestine, Bresident Abbas will do better–until the Israelis refuse to withdraw fully from all of the occupied territories. The Islamist will then make a come-back.

Dr. Amir Mahmoud Khaled zou'l Ra'y al-Wa7id (Saudi adviser): Thank God for Iran. That country is our only hope to get this thing settled since none of us has the army or the popular appeal to wage unconventional warfare to balance Israel’s arsenal

King Abdallah: Stop, Dr. Amir, I beseech you. The Egyptian armed forces are the pride of the Arab and Muslim worlds.

They all look at each other, stupefied. Then President Mubarak breaks into laughter and, contagiously, they all laugh uncontrollably.

President Mubarak: Like, like, like, like....(still laughing) our troops are as good as yours!

King Abdallah is now in tears. His nurse approaches him and takes his pulse. President Mubarak continues: That boy Ahmadi-Nejad is more popular among the Arab Sunnis than Mu’awiyah (may God bless his soul) ever was.

King Abdallah: Yes he is. Seriously now, the Americans want us to prepare for a drawn out conflict with the Iranians. All the money floating in the Gulf will end up in their pockets. Now that they have lost $320 billion, and hundreds of billions to come, they’ll expect us to pay for their war with Iran. Darn it. I should’ve opposed that war.

President Mubarak: It’s neither here not there for us, King Abdallah. We have no money anyway. We live on wheat and Tu3miyyah (falafel); we haven’t savored meat in decades.

King Abdallah gives him the look.

President Mubarak: Oh well, I meant the Egyptian people, not the Mubarak family and their friends. We eat meat daily. The Islamists do too; they have some money from Iran. But not much.

King Abdallah: Giving you trouble?

President Mubarak: Nah. They’re busy converting Copts.

They both laugh. President Mubarak continues: “Yeah; they’re not issue-oriented or realistic. A Copt teenager converts to Islam and they are thrilled. That keeps them off my back, they and their loud demands for reform, redistribution of wealth, my servility to the Israelis, what have you.”

King Abdallah looks at his advisers and says, “Maybe we need to import a few Copt teenagers into the Kingdom.” The adviser hurriedly take notes.