RENT-A-DIASPORA: AN OPERETTA

By popular demand (meaning two people), here it is, again:


(Setting:

Here’s a little operetta to commemorate the occasion of the “inter-faith” conference. That’s the conference sponsored by the Saudi ruling elite, allied to the Israel lobby in the land of the harmful idiots, to normalize relations with Israel on the back of the Palestinian Arabs , the Lebanese Arabs, and the Syrian Arabs. “Fuck them,” says the Saudi ruling elite; “we have oodles of money; so we don’t care.”)

Imagine if you will King Abdallah (“Abboudi” in cute Arabic) sitting in Shimon Perez’s (“Shimone” in cute Hebrew?) lap:



“Shimone, Israel is my love.”

“Abboudi, let’s release the doves.”

“Shimone, my sweetie, we need your diaspora.”

“Abboudi, my life, our diaspora’s Iran’s bora bora
It’ll get the harmful idiots into the imbroglio-ra
To build the pliant Persia of tomorrow
A friend of Isghrael–lle
Accepting of your al-Saud royal aura
And Wahhabi interpretations of Qoraanic Sura.”


“Shimone, my doll
We’ve made the one billion dollar transfer for your diaspora’s s e r v i c e s.”

“A b b o u d i! our government has sent you a receipt
Using the Egyptian d e r v i s h e s
We shall pass your generous donation
Through businessmen who are Jewish
To our diaspora’s organizaaaa--tions
So that they can mobilize the now bankrupt and skeptical nation --
To lobby the idiots-harmful men of rubbish
To wage war on Persia.

“Together my Abboudi
we shall create pliant slaves
Of Iran’s Nejadis
Accepting of Israel’s superiority
As a Jewish “biladi” [Arabic, liberally, for “country”]
In the sea of Sunni hordes
Against who the idiots-harmful shall protect you
And us–ssssss!
O dear royal allies of Israel
Sunnis of Sunnis
Reactionaries without a fuss–ssss.”


“S h i m o n e, my pork-free baloney,
Oh how I love ya!”

“Abboudi, your love I so–ooo treasure
But money is needed
For good measure
To our diaspora to transfer
Via our traders
To give to the Jewish Forward raiders
So that AIPAC and multiple un-registered others
Move the idiots-harmful to remain involved
Silencing the troops’ anti-war mothers
So that we may wipe out Hezbollah and the Shias
And that Persian thorn
Who endangers your bi3–aaaaaah [(royal) allegiance.]


“We’re in it together, my sweetest Abboudi
To put them all in their place:
The Alawites,
The Baaaaath
The Sunni hordes,
Khamas,
Islamic Jihad
And the inveterate Shia sla-aaaves.


“Send more money
Or else risk taking a bath
In our vigilant d i a s p o r a ’s wrath
(Remember the Defense Policy Board?)
So do the math
And you’ll find that Isghraaiiill and its diaspora
Are your best bet as royal flora
Living in golden palaces
...

Alas-es!”