RENT-A-DIASPORA: SAUDI ARABIA RENTS ISRAEL’S AMERICAN DIASPORA

rough first and poetic draft.


I think this blog was first to highlight the importance to the Saudi ruling elite of not upsetting the Israel lobby in the United States, and to uncover the fact that the inter-faith conference at the U.N. really was a sham -- a way for the Saudi rulers to hobnob with the Israeli without accusations of treason by the Saudi public/opposition and the Arab Street. (The non-Saudi funded Arab press scurried afterwards to adopt this newsletter’s analysis, sometimes making the case even better.)

Now I’m going further. (I began the process of pushing the analytical envelope in the last two posts.) I’m now suspecting that the Saudi ruling elite has adopted the hilariously stupid idea of buying out (with MONEY!) a diaspora, the Jewish, in the United States. Yes Virginia. I would be a fool as an analyst if I didn’t think that the huge amounts of oil money surplus this elite now controls isn’t producing absurdly idiotic ideas, especially that this elite has gone through a series of proxy defeats and direct failures -- Lebanon in May, Mecca Accord, Israel’s proxy failed summer of 2006 carpet bombing of Lebanese civilians, failure of repeated bluffs directly or through Egypt to weaken Syria. The more defeats and discovery of limits to its financial power, the further along this elite goes in adopting (dangerously) idiotic ideas.

* * * * * * *

Here’s a little operetta to commemorate the occasion of the “inter-faith” conference.

Imagine if you will King Abdallah sitting in Shimon Perez’s lap:


OPERETTA!

“Shimone [Hebrew cute for Shimon?] Israel is my love.”

“Abboudi [Arabic cute for Abdallah] let’s release the doves.”

“Shimone, my sweetie, we need your diaspora.”

“Abboudi, my life, our diaspora’s Iran’s bora bora
It’ll get the harmful idiots into the imbroglio-ra
To build the pliant Persia of tomorrow
A friend of Israel
Accepting of your al-Saud royal aura
And Wahabi interpretations of Qoranic Suras.”


“Shimone, my doll
We’ve made the one billion dollar transfer for your diaspora’s services.”

“Abboudi, our government a receipt has sent you
Using the Egyptian dervishes
We shall pass your generous donation
Through businessmen who are Jewish
To our diaspora’s organizations
So that they can mobilize the bankrupt and skeptical nation
To lobby the idiots-harmful men of rubbish
To wage war on Persia.

Together we shall create pliant slaves
Of Iran’s Nejadis
Accepting of Israel’s superiority
As a Jewish “biladi” [Arabic, liberally, for “country”]
In the sea of Sunni hordes
Against who the idiots-harmful shall protect you
And us!
O dear royal allies of Israel
Sunnis of Sunnis
Reactionaries without a fuss.”


“Shimone, baloney, oh how I love ya!”

“Abboudi, your love I treasure
But money is needed
For good measure
To our diaspora to transfer
Via our traders
To give to the Jewish Forward raiders
So that AIPAC and multiple un-registered others
Move the bankrupt idiots-harmful to remain involved
Silencing the troops’ anti-war mothers
So that we may wipe out Hezbollah and the Shias
And that Persian thorn
Who endangers your bi3ah [ (royal) allegiance.]


“We’re in it together, Abboudi
To put them all in their place:
The Alawites,
The Sunni hordes,
Hamas,
And the inveterate Shia slaves.


“Send more money
Or else risk taking a bath
In our diaspora’s wrath
(Remember the Defense Policy Board?)
So do the math
And you’ll find that Israel and its diaspora
Are your best bet as royal flora
Living in golden palaces
...


Alas-es!”