third and corrected draft -- additions are in bold print“[a] state of static balance or equilibrium: STAGNATION.”
Webster’s New Collegiate DictionaryINTRODUCTION: A SEA OF CONFUSION.On or about July 11, 2008, the non-Saudi-financed or owned Arab press referred to a story in the Israeli daily
Haaretz. Israeli officials, to show off the Olmert government as close to the Saudis (most likely), leaked information to the Israeli daily that officials of “an Arab country” had met with Israeli officials. The Arab officials,
Haaretz reported, informed the Israeli that the “Arab country” would not oppose an Israeli attack on Iran. That said Arab country was concerned about the spread of Iranian influence among the Shias of the various Arab states. In other words, these “Arab officials”, likely Saudi, were crying on Israel’s shoulder.
But crying on Israel’s shoulder is an act. Because any analyst with a modicum of sense knows that Israel is useless when it comes to Iran -- in spite of all the fighter jets it likely has spread across the Arab Gulf, Kurdistan, and Iraq with the help of the harmful idiots -- and harmful when an Arab country reveals its closeness to it. (Unless you’re little and super-rich Qatar, nearly the only other source of generous financing for the Arab press, or the UAE which, along with Qatar, likely goes blind on so much that goes on financially in exchange for peaceful coexistence with so many.) Why would the Arab country’s officials cry on Israel’s shoulder? In the confusion of shifting power relations and lagging and deficient analysis, crying is meant to assure that Israel would think it is so close to that country that Israel would refrain from unleashing its people in the US against the “Arab country” and its rich princes. Don’t you forget it: Saudi Arabia’s ruling elite got a taste of what Israel’s diaspora in the US can do to it when the right wing boys of that diaspora took over the Pentagon (the Defense Policy Board) and threatened to break up the Kingdom. Think of what they can do if they go after the wealth of the King, the Crown Prince, and the entire extended family.
Oh well, as if crying on the Israelis’ shoulder would really help that Arab country. Let’s not forget: it’s thanks in good part to Israel and its people in the country of the harmful idiots that these Arab regimes now have to fear Iranian power.
My guess, if I have to venture one, is that one of the officials who cried on Israel's shoulder was Prince Bandar. He likely is concerned about the Justice Department's investigation of the corrupt practices at BAE Systems, including the alleged payment to him of $ 2 bn. in kickbacks for the $50-$80 bn. Yamama arms deal between Saudi Arabia and Britain. He thinks, as do most Arabs, that Jewish political power in the country of the harmful idiots is paramount, and that this power is found in both presidential campaigns. Accordingly, his hope (and that of his father, the Crown Prince) would be that Israel would instruct its people to scuttle the Justice Department's BAE Systems' investigation so not to embarrass the Crown Prince and possibly forfeit his chances at becoming King -- or the chances of Prince Bandar. Right around the same time, various Arab news sources said that Israel had stationed fighter planes in Iraq. Later, on or about 7/19/08, the Palestinian Hezbollah e-publication,
al-Manar, said that Israel already had fighter planes in Iraq, in the Arab Gulf countries, in Iraqi Kurdistan, and in US bases in Turkey.
I can tell you a lot more that, without a framework, would lose you in a sea of meaningless details. Right? You need a framework.
THE FRAMEWORK: THE AXIS OF REACTION (THE HARMFUL IDIOTS/ISRAEL/SAUDI ARABIA) WANTS TO DEFEAT IRAN.How’s one to make sense of the news? You can make sense of the news when you come to terms with the fact that a lot of what the axis of the harmful idiots(troops and global power)/Israel (advice to the harmful idiots’ establishment)/Saudi Arabia (money to buy out people) is doing is meant to defeat the Islamic Republic. What follows is written with that framework in mind.
FIRST: IRAQ.Let’s look at Iraq, without all the bullshit about the surge. What we have are two states and a motley of tribes:
OO one Shia state, beholden to Iran (the Badr-Dawa state);
OO one Kurdish state, beholden to itself but willing to accommodate the Israeli-harmful idiots symbiotic alliance on nearly anything, so long as the process for the formation of a nouveau-and-greater-Kurdish Israel is furthered;
OO and Arab Sunni tribes beholden to the harmful idiots and likely to Saudi Arabia and Jordan, both countries having helped out in returning the Arab Sunnis to a backward tribal state.
The Shia State has a powerful and populist figure monitoring its every move: Sadr; the Sunni: the young Islamists.
THE KEY TO THE FRAMEWORK: THE ILLUSION THAT THE AXIS OF REACTION (HARMFUL IDIOTS/ISRAEL/SAUDI ARABIA) CAN STEAL THE BADR/DAWA STATE AWAY FROM IRAN.The harmful idiocy here is that the harmful idiots are building their policy in Iraq and the region on the illusion that they and their Arab Gulf adjutants can steal the Badr-Dawa Shia state away from Iran. I can return to the Basra events that pitted the Badr/Dawa army against the Mahdi and cull out something Robert Gates had said which freaked me out. But it’s late at night and I’m sleepy, so I’m not in a mood to search for his exact words. Gates said something along the following lines: the Iraqi government (he meant the Badr/Dawa Shia state) now knows that Iran is not its friend. I couldn’t believe my eyes. We’re building a state and training its army on the shaky and harmfully-idiotic presumption that we can steal that state away from Iran? What the hell?
THE HARMFULLY IDIOTIC PLAN: HOW TO STEAL THE BADR/DAWA STATE AWAY FROM IRAN.1.
The Plan: The Gulf Trillionaires.Not that the harmful idiots don’t have a “plan” to steal that state away from Iran. They do. But they're acting under the illusion (yet again) that if their Gulf trillionaire adjutants (The GCC countries) open up embassies -- then, hell, Iraq will once again become Arab, and therefore not Persian. Ask the September 11 Queen. She knows that anything Arab is good because it stands against anything Persian. What sophomore taught her that? Where do these people come from?
1a.
The Gulf Trillionaires.For one, the Gulf trillionaires are useless because they’re no (once) Arab Iraq and their “armies” are no Iraqi army under the late Saddam Hussein. You remember him: the one who got some good old
Evangelical-Jewish lynching? The one who, but for his armies, the Islamic Republic would’ve been organizing the
hajj to Mecca and Medina. The one who the Israelis and their right-wing American Jews wanted dead and got what they wanted.
The Gulf countries’ intelligence services? Give me a break. My suspicion is that the only active and daring functionaries they have to conduct operations in Iraq are
contract-mercenaries, either British and other Western and white South African and such other mercenaries -- who would stick out like a sore thumb in Iraq-- or other Arabs. Iranian intelligence should pick those one by one as my cat-in-residence picks her helpless toy mice. My recent trip to the UAE, and my conversations with the Indians and Pakistanis who run nearly everything there, thankfully refreshed my memory about the Gulf Arabs. They’re too rich! You don’t put your life on the line when you’re filthy rich! For what? For some royal family that cares only about reproducing and feasting? Give me a break. (I apologize to all; but I need to make the point so that we don’t continue to jump from one illusion to the next.)
2.
The Plan: Turkey.Okay. We can use Turkey, can’t we, to balance Iran inside Iraq. Can’t we? So reason the “thinking” men and women of the harmful idiots. We’ll be more specific: we’ll use the Justice and Development Party (AKP). “What a wonderful brand of moderate Islamism that is” tell us our knowledgeable colonialist advisers, the Israelis. The AKP needs us because we can help it against our and the Israelis’ Turkish proxies -- the generals and former generals who’ve taken on the role of protectors of secularism. Yes, we can line up our policy away from the military and into the camp of modern Islamism, the AKP, all to obtain its help. We want the AKP to define a new course for the Arabs we fucked. Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Turkey’s Islamist Prime Minister, picks up on the hint. He needs to return the favor
and assure that the harmful idots would remain in his camp. He rushes over to Baghdad on or about 7/11/09 and signs with Maliki a “strategic partnership” agreement to form a Higher Council for Strategic Cooperation.
You see, once again, the harmful idiots are sure they can nab the Badr/Dawa state. And they’re willing to bet Turkey on that illusion. Engage Turkey with the Sunni tribes -- the Sahwas. The pressure on the harmful idiots is domestic. The U.S. military wants its troops availabble for other contingencies and the US public wants its government to pay attention to the home front. But once the American public forgets its misery, one that’s borne out of eight years of little management of anything by the federal government, just weight-lifting and kiss-and-hug with Israel, and longer failure to manage by the Federal Reserve. Once that public forgets those years, then we shall bomb Iran into the stone age. Then Iraq and its oil would be ours. (Whatever that means.) Ha!
As a sideline, Erdogan states from Iraq that he received a commitment from one of the two nouveau-Israel leaders, the opportunists’ opportunist, Jalal Talabani, and from Maliki (as if he matters in Kurdistan) to repress the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK).
The harmful idiots know that our armed forces are stretched to the limit. Withdrawal of troops is gonna happen. The Obama/Maliki plan would be faster than McCain/Lieberman’s. (Forget the one hundred years' thing.) That’s all. It’s all about the speed of withdrawal and how many we leave behind before we return to bomb the Islamic Republic back to the stone age. If we withdraw, “reason” the harmful idiots, even if only thin out our troops in Iraq, the Arab Sunnis might head Iran’s way. Sunni Turkey and the Gulf adjutants, the harmful idiots would hope, would help the smaller number of US troops left in Iraq with the Arab Sunni tribes. Really? And how?
[Correction: the harmful idiots seem to prefer a thinning out of the troops but continued and eternal presence in bases in Iraq. Even former Central Command (CENTCOM) commander William Fallon, who was pushed out of his position by the Bush people, and therefore is more level-headed than others, wants access to military bases. (New York times op.ed. article on July 20.) Fallon likly is reflecting -- credibly -- the point of view of the U.S. armed forces about Iraq.]2.a
Turkey.So the harmful idiots know Turkey is Sunni. The Iraqi Arab Sunnis are Sunni too. It matches. ALRIGHT! Okay? Once we thin out the troops in Iraq, these Arab Iraqi Sunnis might start to head Iran’s way. So we need to bring in ...let me think: yeaaaaah: TURKEY! Hey, it’s Sunni right?
By now Turkey should’ve given up on becoming part of the EU exactly because it is Sunni. Turn around and re-integrate it with the Arab Sunnis in that Greater Middle East
AKA the New Middle East
AKA the Union for the Mediterranean. And don’t you worry about the Iraqi Kurds. Talabani/Barazani Inc. will allow Turkish intelligence operatives through Iraqi Kurdistan and spread them among the tribal Sahwas to avoid the disintegration of these once US troops are thinned out. Okay, so you need to send the Turks to Arabic schools. Hurry up. Send them to that dear Israel and have Mosad teach them Arabic. (They’ll turn them into spies for Israel; but that’s a cost to pay.) Isghraiil (Israel) will tell you how to do it.
(Note: Anything more than Turkish intelligence operatives --e.g., troops --going through Iraqi Kurdistan into Iraq should risk a Kurdish civil war.) What a plan. Really. Russia, China, and Iran are too stupid to pass money on to the PKK. Yes they are. You bet they are. And to the Kurdish community in southeastern Turkey. Yeah. Everyone else is stupid and the harmful idiots and their Israeli advisers are smart.
3.
The Plan: Bandar bin Sultan and the Saudi Secret Government.A third tool of the harmful idiots is Mr. Bandar bin Sultan. He taught the harmful idiots how to ignite a Sunni fervor across the Arab World to dam the Shias, so to speak. He’s easy. The harmful idiots and the Israelis have him by the balls. The harmful idiots can pursue with elan the BAE Systems’ investigation. The Israelis, the spies they and their proxies are, must have terrific evidence about his likely visits to Israel and other damning evidence. These guys spy on everyone. So he has to do right by the harmful idiots including firing up the Sunni-Shia divide.
Only that Saudi Arabia itself has Shias. And Bahrain is majority Shia. And Kuwait and the UAE have substantial Shia communities. Not to mention that once the money of Saudi intelligence is out of the coffers and paid to those who are tasked to ignite the Sunni-Shia tension, that money can do almost anything else. Like finance Sunni extremist groups whose agenda is more about Saudi Arabia and terror against the US than about the Shias. (Remember Osama bin Laden?) Especially that it’d not be that difficult to infiltrate the Sunni-solidarity groups Mr. Bandar and Saudi intelligence are busy creating. Get it? If you don’t, do enroll in an Arabic language school in Turkey or Isghraiil.
4.
The Plan: Use Saudi Money to buy up the Russians Away From Iran.Oh yeah. I forgot. Dispatch Bandar to Russia and offer to buy it out. (See prior post.) Too little too late. Why? Because the harmful idiots have printed so much money, went to “war” without taxation -- where interpreters are making $180,000, and “experts” are making so much more -- because “war” for the harmful idiots is a racket; and instead of taxing for war you give your friends a huge tax cut -- why, hell! Something’s got to give. Oil prices go through the roof and Russia -- the state -- is rich. as a result. Doesn’t need Bandar’s money.
5.
The Plan: Squeeze Russia in Europe.Okay, so we squeeze the Russians in Europe by erecting a useless (in the end) missile defense shield. Russia stirs up trouble in Georgia and the Ukraine. Okay, can’t we escalate by reviving the Chechneya civil war? Maybe yes, maybe no. Russia can retaliate in Afghanistan. What does it take to dispatch money to the Taliban, a lot of it? Just as we and the Saudis had dispatched money and weapons to the Afghani “freedom fighters” to force the Soviets out. And, oh yeah, we got Osama bin Laden as a bonus. The gem of the second half of the (last)century. Nice going. We’re trying to check them and change oil and natural gas pipeline routes away from their intended countries to scuttle an increase in their influence -- Iran, Russia, and China. And they’re trying to do the same.
With one difference: Russia and China don’t have troops tied down in foreign lands, with a finger in the holes of two dams, Iraq and Afghanistan, which should burst sooner or later. Russia and China have remained flexible. They fight with other people. Just as once we did when we had Saddam Hussein and a modern Arab army defeat the Islamic Republic. But hey: right wing Jews know best. Lynch the Arab President. Hang him high so that all know Isghraiiil (Israel) is tops. That bad guy didn’t like Isghraiil. How dare he? Define US foreign policy through Israeli eyes.
6.
The Plan: Use Saad al-Hariri to Spread Swiss Bank Accounts All Around.Oh, I nearly forgot. Here’s one for the books. Now that he’s no longer useful in Lebanon, Saudi intelligence dispatches Saad al-Hariri to ... Baghdad. The man just got his ass kicked along with Jumblatt ben Yehuda ben Isghraiil. Hezbollah didn’t murder them just because it didn’t want to turn them into “martyrs.” (That smart Hezbollah; can’t we pay them to have the September 11 Queen and Eliott Abrams attend one of their schools?) So, what’s Hariri -- an extension of Saudi intelligence in Lebanon -- doing in Baghdad?
Okay, you give up. Well, he’s gone there likely with a bunch of secret numbered Swiss bank accounts. Here, Mr. Adel Abdel Mahdi -- here’s a number at some Swiss bank. The number entitles you to $ 40 million . (Actually, likely it's much less. The Saudis have gotten mighty cheap.) Oh, I’m so sorry, you wanted Euros instead. So does everyone. I should’ve known. Those damn Bandar men at Saudi intelligence. Idiots! Don’t they know people want Euros and not toilet paper money?
You didn’t get it? Com’on: Saudi intelligence has dispatched Saad to Baghdad likely to complement the harmful idiots’ policy of buying out the Iraqi Shia state. His job is to buy it out as iindiviuals. Take thirty secret numbered bank accounts and spread them about to targeted politicians. Will it work?
Expect assassinations a la Lebanon if any signs emerge that these officials, especially the Shia, are on the Saudi payroll.(It likely had worked with Putin’s team since Russia, after Saad’s visit to Moscow, did not use its veto at the UN Security Council when the latter voted to establish the international tribunal to investigate and try those who assassinated Saad’s father. But Mr. Putin himself couldn’t have accepted Saudi money. I need to be careful.)
7.
The Plan: Split Syria Off From Iran.Okay, we split Syria off and away from Iran. We hand it Lebanon -- which many Lebanese don’t mind they have been stung way too many times -- stabbed in the back, really -- by the harmful idiots and Isghraiiil. We have our little man Sarkozi who without our assistance and that of Israel couldn’t get laid or have an erection -- we’ll have him bring Syria out of its isolation. And maybe, just maybe, we can steal it away from Iran.
Some in Iran aren’t happy with that. Just some. Like the Editor-in-Chief of the conservative
Kihan. But that’s okay -- it’s a message no more the Iranians are sending to Syria not to overdo it in its flirtation with little Sarkozi and beloved Isghraiil. We all know we have to pipe things down in Iraq so that the harmful idiots can get the hell out. So it’s okay if Syria and Iran take a break in Iraq. Afghanistan is doing the job for us, right? Since the key to this entire thing is domestic American politics -- and these Americans will not do the right thing unless they lose troops. And they are losing troops in Afghanistan. And they have a limited number of troops because they don’t dare enact the draft. They move troops from Iraq to Afghanistan; our influence increases in Iraq. Win, win.
And now they’re bankrupt.
IRAN RESPONDS.For now we need to stick to the Shia realm. Syria can at times be uncomfortable with that. What with Arab nationalism and all. So we’ll give Syria a break. In the meanwhile, we can do all sorts of things to assure that the Badr/Dawa Shia state is not bought out by the harmful idiots and Bandar bin BAE Systems. We can continue to highlight our dislike for Isghraiil. But the Badr/Dawa people don’t care about that. Though they do care about the Shia realm. Okay. So we need many martyrs in Bahrain, Shias shot by a motley of non-Bahraini Arab Sunnis hired and naturalized by the minority Sunni government. And Kuwait, don’t spare Kuwait. The Sunni-Shia tension Bandar and the harmful idiots have been aiming for is great for us. It’ll do wonders to buttress our Shia realm and assure that the Badr/Dawa state remains faithful to its origins -- Iranian. Let’s involve the Gulf states. Let us, and blame it (justifiably) on Bandar bin Sultan.
The harmful idiots freak out at the thought. They can’t be putting out fires all over the place. So they have the Speaker of Kuwait’s Parliament, Mr. Jasim al-Khurafi, on or about July 13, accuse the United States (!) And other Western countries of dealing with Iran’s nuclear program in an unacceptably humiliating manner. Darn! He reminded all that Israel too has a nuclear program. Did he do it independently of the harmful idiots? I doubt it. The harmful idiots own Kuwait. They’ve used it as a launchpad to entrap Saddam Hussein, and later to entrap their own US Congress, and yet later to invade and entrap us all. Likely al-Khurafi’s statement is choreographed by the harmful idiots. They’re worried about what Iran can do in Kuwait, an essential base for them.
Iran can go on eating away at the fringes of Saudi Arabia. Yemen’s members of the armed forces from the south, who had been forced to retire, had begun turmoil to get their pension payments. Then suddenly the turmoil quieted. Likely the harmful idiots and the Saudis have picked up the tab. But things could change. (I’m not even gonna get into the subject of Saada.)
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Conclusion: it’s not that bad. Defeats and failures are liberating. Time to come back home and tend to our garden.
