FEEDING PESTS, PARASITES, AND ASSHOLES

Ruff first draft

fictionalized to protect the identity of the assholes.

“And I’ve dipped my bread in dirt
Not needing the generosity of others.

Mahmoud Darwish, Marthiyya (My translation from Arabic)

“And my life becomes devoid of all of my roses.”

Mahmoud Darwish, Ughniya (My translation from Arabic.)

INTRODUCTION: THE MAN I HELPED

Frankly, it’s become a major annoyance to be responsible for feeding so many pests and parasites: incompetent Homo sapiens who’d rather spy on me than own and run gas stations. I’m surrounded by these, all clamoring to obtain information: fingerprints, DNA, hand-writing samples. For some, there was likely a great finder’s fee, to reel me in, to shut me up - - say $150,000? (I would hope it’s not something like $20,000!) The pests monitor my web activities as if I were the agent of some hostile foreign power. I’ve become a source of employment-and-income for so many. Lest I sound paranoid and full-of-it, here’s the analysis.

(Be mindful that I’m fictionalizing this essay to protect the identities of the assholes, the pests, and the parasites - - did I say: the assholes?)

THE ARAB MAN

Having become tired of anti-virus programs uncovering Trojans and other viruses, a couple of months ago, I re-formatted my computer. Suddenly an Arab man starts to call asking to talk. I knew him, not well. He once had been having a difficult time identifying a lawyer who would take on his case. After a process of trial-and-error (referral to attorneys who turned down the case), I was able to locate a colleague who did take on the Arab case. The results were absolutely spectacular. (I’m not advertising. I mean it!)

Now this man, an employee at a U.S. government agency, not the fanciest one, after having collected the experience necessary as a taxi driver and a caterer, is calling me, nearly frantically - -but not leaving a detailed message. (Please understand: I’m not disparaging the man’s prior working life, before his job as monitor-of-me. I’ve buffed floors in hospitals - - though mine was a sweet union job. But the State seems to have hired any-and-all unemployed and under-employed Arab and Muslim Americans and has unleashed them on defenseless people like me! My suspicion: Israel’s boys, directly and through networks like that of the Lebanese Forces, have been a systematic conduit for this senseless hiring - - likely with finder’s fees to Israel’s boys, to boot.) The Arab man would only ask that I call him back. His repeated and unrelenting calls, without a message about the subject to discuss, peaked my curiosity - - and suspicion: Has this man lost a stream of income when I cut him off by re-formatting my computer? Better yet: One morning, quite early, after the passage of some time (from reformatting), I changed my Yahoo Mail password. No sooner did I do that, not even a minute after, the man called yet again and left a message to call him back. His voice sounded sad. He did lose a stream of income, didn’t he?

The Grand Nuisance this man and other pests are and have been touches the confidentiality of my professional and personal life. But I guess that ship had sailed with the Patriot Act and when I had started issuing this newsletter—over seven years ago. Or, more correctly, when the country’s institutions started to insist on using the web to conduct business, never minding the fact that a redundant system should be available for all transactions, or as an alternative to the web. In the past, we all thought that the web was safe, at least we thought our passwords were.

This man and the other pests now have my poetry collection (in Arabic) since I had been volleying it about between me and the web designer, and between me and my cousin.

Who was this man working for? The U.S. government agency where he held a job after having worked as a taxi driver? Once when a taxi driver I saw him drive into the Jewish temple off Massachusetts Avenue. I asked him later whether he was catering for them. (He did catering on the side.) He became so defensive. I told him there was nothing wrong with someone driving into the parking lot of a synagogue. I’ve driven in myself a number of times for bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. But his defensiveness was paramount.

Could he be working for the Israel Lobby/Israeli intelligence? But, since he has a job that requires a low-level (I suspect) clearance - - could he be monitoring me for the U.S. government? I guess I may have answered these questions above: The Israel Lobby is an integral part of the foreign policy establishment of this country, a recruiter of sorts for that establishment. Or maybe elements within that lobby moonlight for the Establishment. Either way: I’ve had it with the Grand Nuisance to me these pests have become.

(My first attempt at this essay reflected my anger-and-disgust and was really harsh. I had titled it: “Arabs and Muslims: Shut the Fuck Up.” But, since Arab people read this newsletter, I re-wrote it not to have all Arabs among the reading elite mistrust all Americans.)

A colleague who does quite a lot of First Amendment work said that, after September 11, the CIA had gained the legal ability to hire outfits made up mostly of former agents to go after “suspects” like me. Nice. To be a suspect! And I who believed that freedom of speech was sacred in America. (To all Arabs, including a couple of my liberal college roommates: shed that illusion!!) God: am I THE idiot!

I lessened my reliance on the net.


THE CLAIM: U.S. SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN SENDS A MAN AFTER ME! OR DID HE?

On August 31, I revived this newsletter on the advice of a group of Arab-and-Iranian-Americans - -acquaintances. I had spoken to these to seek advice and had explained to the group what happened at the Maronite church (“A WOG Tool of the State…,” June 29, 2009)--without revealing identities, of course. Their conclusion: The incident at the Maronite church where consulting firms for the State had encircled me and accused me of allegiance to Hezbollah and had issued clear-and-unambiguous threats (“insulting,” one said), was an act - -a ruse. The threats had to come from the State.

The Group-of-Five had agreed/concluded that the incident was meant to shut the newsletter down, nothing less. The consulting firms were acting on orders. Perhaps their jobs were on -the-line; perhaps promotions were in the offing, if successful at shutting down the newsletter.

In the more recent August 21 post (“Who Did It?”), I went after U.S. Senator McCain for visiting Arab Kurdistan, the independent nation-state carved out of Arab Iraq. As I’ve always done in this newsletter: I’ve relayed the feelings of 300 million Arabs - -and of that part of the American Left that understands realism in foreign policy. Senator McCain’s visit to Arab Kurdistan was bound to offend each-and-every-Arab - - minus, of course, the self-hating ones and the ones with jobs. It was bound to confirm to them that the U.S. was dead-set on using each-and-every sectarian/ethnic division to forever splinter the Arabs, on behalf of Israel.

“Who Did It?,” too, was highly critical of the war in Afghanistan and of the retreat from realism by the Obama Administration. (Be mindful that I’m a fan of Mr. Obama as I believe he is THE heir of the Ted Kennedy legacy. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t speak out about the insanity of the Afghanistan war and the use- -and harmful frivolity - - of direct military power. To do that - -use direct military power - - to re-draw the alliances in South Asia to turn India into a “Great Power,” as the more secure passage way to Central Asia’s energy resources. Pakistan will never make it because, if it does, it’ll reverse itself fast when it realizes that India is getting the lion’s share of the loot, if ever. Yet more instability.) Or even to encircle Iran, the results of which, even if successful (a big IF), runs a decent likelihood to turn into something worse for us (and for the people of the region whom we keep on screwing with our illusory schemes, miscalculations, and resulting violence) than what is found at present - - however distasteful to the reluctant ones and to their Israel.

THE TRAIL

On Friday, September 4, I sat at a place with free WIFI. A man sat across from me with his laptop. I opened my Yahoo Mail account. I found an email from Sophie, who loves roasted lamb - -in spite of my advice to her to avoid meat altogether. Sophie encouraged me to meet her at the food fest at the Melkite Greek Catholic church in Virginia. I replied to her email, telling her that I would be there with my father on Saturday, September 5, at 4:00 PM.

On Saturday, I reported there with my father. It was good for him to be with people other than doctors. I sat with a friend, with my father, and with one of the priests. (Sorry to digress: but the American friend once, after running into him at a beach, wanted to show me a house that he wanted to buy in Lebanon. But he made the wrong turn and a bunch of Syrian intelligence men came at us with speed and machine guns. They asked us questions, concluded that we were idiots, and let us go. It would be the last time I’d trust an American-in-Lebanon, especially after he told the Syrians that we were from Washington, D.C.!) Anyway, I was –- sadistically, maybe - - enjoying the priest’s grievous tirades about the flight from the Holy Land of its Christians, their emigration away from that part of the world. (Please understand that I don’t lose any sleep over this, but I would never tell a priest that. Now he knows it. Oops.) I suggested we dress up Armenians as priests and smuggle them into the Holy Land, their wives dressed as nuns, their children as priests-and-nuns-to-be. The Armenian religious representatives in the Holy Land, I hear, are vicious when it comes to facing off with other sects and with the Israeli colonial authorities. The humor went unappreciated.

Out of the blues, a man joins us. No one knew him. He said he had been swimming at some local pool and saw the ads for the delicious roasted lamb. He volunteered that he was Estonian-American, that he had worked in the military for decades, then in the oil industry, that he now worked - - surprise! - - for U.S. Senator John McCain. We exchanged pleasantries. The priest went on complaining to him about the dwindling number of Christians in the Holy Land. The man was a polite listener but didn’t seem to really give a hoot. The priest complained about the Christians not having children. The Estonian-American remained polite, but had he not been on church grounds, and a total stranger, my guess would be that he would’ve said something like, “I don’t give a fuck, father.” What’s even funnier is that the American friend invited him to join the church, saying that the rites of the Greek Melkite Catholic church are similar to those of the Estonian. This is the same friend who nearly delivered us, two idiots who had nothing to do with U.S. foreign policy, to Syrian intelligence!

The man and I talked. I asked him how did one nab a high-paying job in the oil industry - - with an office suite with windows, secretaries with plump asses, a pension plan, what have you. He said if one wasn’t an engineer, a high-paying job would be difficult. He asked me whether I’d be interested in a job in Iraq. No, I said, one civil war was plenty enough for me. (Besides, sex isn’t easily obtainable in Iraq. Honor killings are rife.) He mentioned Qatar and the U.A.E. I said Malaysia! His eyes rolled. He didn’t seem to think much of the idea. (One of my former professors and friends had spent time in Malaysia and advised me a couple of times to visit there - - that it was so charming.)

Draw your own conclusions about the Estonian-American; the free WIFI outfit, with the man sitting across from me with his laptop; my reply to Sophie’s email, with date and time of attendance at the food fest; and the appearance of this one Estonian-American at the Greek Melkite Catholic Church’s food fest - - and his choice of seating. (And don’t you forget the travails of the priest about the dwindling number of Christians in the Holy Land and their frugality when it comes to producing children.)

You may, too, draw your conclusions about whether the most recent chance encounter was meant to be publicized here, using me yet again, to relay the message to all Arabs and Muslims that they’re monitored - - to chill them, that is, way beyond the duration when chilling had been necessary.

MARONITE FALAFEL IS BETTER

I ate one falafel. It wasn’t good. The Maronites make a much better falafel, I thought. No loss. One of the best falafel sandwiches I now have regularly is found at the Women’s Flea Market in downtown Bethesda, right opposite from the Starbucks across on Wisconsin Avenue. It’s divine.

On my part, I’ve drawn my own conclusions about the chance encounters I’ve had earlier in the history of this newsletter: it was all a trap to compromise my reputation as Arab and Arab-American, and my objectivity. They wanted me compromised, so to speak, as they had compromised (and trashed) so many good people and made them useless for relaying good intentions by so many Americans - - e.g., former President Carter. Those who I thought were Israeli spies threatening my safety - - they were not. The one "colleague" who sent me a Trojan and monitored me was hardly doing it only for Israel. He was doing it for the Israel lobby AKA former CIA operatives busy entrapping me AKA the harmful idiots. He participated in my entrapment. Maybe there was a "finder's fee." Damn if I know. Ditto for the one who lifted my fingerprints and DNA. Ditto for the one who obtained a writing sample from me. Ditto for Israel’s spies who were dispatched to stage encounters with me on the streets of D.C.

The idea was for me to be scared of Israel’s intelligence service and its tentacles ion D.C. Life’s too short. I’m nauseated but I’m not about to close shop just because so many traps had been set up for me.

One thing is now abundantly clear: Israel is American foreign policy and American foreign policy is all about Israel. The foot soldiers for both - -oh well. . . they can be Arab men who had sought and obtained my help.

Another conclusion: Just as Iran uses the Arab Shia communities for its defense/offense, so do the harmful idiots use the Jewish communities for their offense - -to dominate the Arab nation. In the end: the harmful idiots and their Israelis screw Arabs under the pretext, evolved through ruses and entrapment schemes (such as mine - - and don’t you forget the trap that was set up for Arab Iraq, which resulted in so much misery for the Arab people of that once-country) that they are protecting them. No one is protecting anyone.

All learned their lesson. People (and countries) aren't stupid.


SCARED?

Hardly. Only the death of beloved ones scares me. But I’m a realist, if anything. I have ways to overcome the ugliness of people, the treachery of “friends,” of “colleagues,” that of the ones I’ve helped. I do it by writing away. (I’m not being self-righteous, am I? If I sound like I am: please understand that you're only reading the half-of-it.)

If anything, this otherwise bleak experience has been enriching. I’ve already gotten one operetta out of it. May be it’ll be the all-American novel I’ve always wanted to write. You never know. Another Nineteen Eighty-Four? I’ll be posting it online as soon as I get more-than-a-moment. I’m forever looking for material. So bBring it on.

(This newsletter, I’ve come to learn, may very well become the subject of a Ph.D. dissertation by a J.D./Ph.D. candidate. That’s so nice: beauty at last. An objective look at a man who thinks HE is objective.)

MALAYSIA

On a more positive note: Oh, Malaysia: Oh, oh! Will you ever see me? Will you ever be mine? Will you be the paradise away from the ugliness of traps, snitches, and the treachery of “friends,” of “colleagues,” and of those to whose assistance I so blindly rushed?

I'll avoid visiting you if only to preserve your charm. So sorry. It's for your protection.